martes, 26 de octubre de 2010

New Work Policies

It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our offices, that offensive language is commonly used by our salvadorean spanish speaking staff.


Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:


1.- Words like “hijue puta”, “tu puta madre” or “me pela la verga” and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.


2.- You will not say “la cagué!” when someone makes a mistake, or “se están cagando en el hijue puta” if you see someone being reprimended, or “que cagada!” when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb “cagar” are utterly innapropriate and unacceptable in our environment.


3.- No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred as “hijo de las mil putas”, “mal parido”, “es una mierda” or “es un cerote bien hecho”.


4.- Lack of determination will not be referred to “as qué culero”, “falta de huevos” nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as “cerote huevón”, or “que pendejo”.


5.- Unusual or creative ideas offered by the management are not to be referred as “pajas” or “pendejadas”.


6.- Do not say “como hincha los huevos” or “que cerote de mierda” if a person is persistent; do not add “se lo está llevando putas” if a colleague is going through a diffcult situation. Furthermore, you must not say “la cagamos” (refer to item 2) nor “nos esta llevando putas” when a matter becomes excessively complicated.


7.- When asking a someone to leave you alone, you must not say andate “a la mierda” or “pelame la verga”, nor should you ever substitute May I help you? with “¿Que putas querés?”


8.- Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners “viejitos de mierdas”.


9.- Do not say “chupáme un huevo” when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer “pelámela” when you assistance is required.


10.- You should never call partners “culerito de mierda” or “vieja tortillera”; the sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as “viejo maricon” or “mariquita de mierda”.


11.- Last but no means least, after reading this note please don't say “me la paso por el culo”. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.


Thank you.
THE MANAGEMENT

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